Dominic Roskrow finds there’s a fine line between innovation and invention for the sake of it in the world of international spirits…

Once upon a time, judging a spirits competition was a pretty straightforward affair. For starters, there were only a handful of internationally acknowledged awards events worth their salt. Now, it seems like every publication and their dog is dishing out medals in return for cash. It’s all a bit pointless, really, because no drinks magazine will give publicity to a rival’s awards, so most writers do what I do: throw said awards results in the bin. 

Then there has been the exponential growth in the number of categories in which you can get a medal. ‘Best Austrian Whisky Distilled on a Mountain on a Wednesday Morning’? I’m sure some awards event can help out with that.

But even the biggest and best events have become something of a nightmare. Back in the day, you had whisky and brandy, all in different shades of brown; gin and vodka, all clear and distinctively of their category; and finally rum, which could be any colour it damn well liked and, as a result, was regarded a little frivolously by the otherwise intense judges.

Not any more. All sorts of hybrid spirits are literally muddying the waters and blurring the lines between different categories. I recently took part in a virtual international tasting and because I wasn’t judging several categories, I spent an entire day listening to the other judges not deciding what were the best made and tastiest drinks, but what they should even be judged as.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m fully in favour of hybrid drinks and innovation is something I welcome. My issue is with the lack of transparency, the diluting of fine categories such as whisky and brandy, and an explosion in marketing speak, that at worst is meaningless and damaging to existing spirits categories, and at best is a victory for style over substance.

Try this, for a hard seltzer that comes in various flavours: “It’s like alcoholic sparkling water, because that’s exactly what it is.” Excuse me? And what would you call vodka with lemonade in it?

Or what about this magazine cover line: “Thyme for a change: vodka turns to botanicals.” So what is gin? And before you say gin has to be flavoured by juniper, have you tried Hoxton Grapefruit and Coconut Gin? Nice drink and all that, but it is to juniper what Sam Cane is to modern ballet.

The international judging I took part in was based around Swiss spirits, so perhaps we should have expected some quirk, strangeness and charm. After all, the Swiss specialise in fruit liqueurs. But how about ‘Noveltea’ (geddit?), which is an alcoholic drink with 70% Earl Grey tea? Or indeed VA, a very sweet drink made up of at least 20% macerated fruit and designed to be drunk after a meal with a cigar and a coffee or tea? And one of the great successes of the day: Löckler, a liqueur made with Swiss mountain goat milk and hazelnut, and had the additional flavour, according to one judge, “of birch or indeed any other wood I have drunk.”

None of this would matter if the traditional spirits categories were standing aloof and maintaining the high standards they have achieved but they are not. In the Scotch whisky category, for instance, there have been several failed attempts to produce a malt drink with a much reduced alcoholic content. Recently, Glenmorangie introduced X, a single malt whisky designed to be mixed with, among other things, cola. Isn’t that what blended whisky is for?

Heaven knows where it will all end, but it’s enough to turn a chap to drink. Now, where is my martini-flavoured vodka and jalapeño?

Dominic Roskrow is a UK-based world spirits expert and editor of Stills Crazy